My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
