The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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