whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
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