why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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