okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
