i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
It's official drugs can't kill me
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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