What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Randomize
