i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize