So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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