I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
