i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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