last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
