i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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