You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize