Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
her facebook's as public as her vagina
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
