i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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