I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
