see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
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