This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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