Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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