Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
