She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
