Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
