This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize