Do you still have your period?
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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