hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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