***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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