i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
