does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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