so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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