Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize
