I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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