This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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