Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
