remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
