she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
