whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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