i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize