: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
