NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
