Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
