Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
