How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Randomize
