I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I need moral support for this bender
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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