that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Randomize
