I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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