i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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