hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
