I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
