I need help removing her.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
