Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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