I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
