My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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