Do you still have your period?
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
