I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Randomize
