i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I would fuck him just for his dog
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
