all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
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