Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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