Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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