If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Randomize
