clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize
