im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
