I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
